Why Blue Shells don't exist in Super Smash Bros
by Mishieru Hime
Summary: Originally, blue shells existed in the Super Smash Bros. world. After a tragic accident, they were removed by Master Hand. Why was it removed? Read to find out!


Ike and I were sipping some chocolate milkshakes when the loudspeaker blared on, making me spill the milkshake on my lap. My lap feels like Nana and Popo whacked me for 5 minutes without stopping.

"Not again!" I yelled, before leaving the room to get a towel. I saw Ike stayed behind to listen to the announcement.

"We have implanted a new item in brawls for you to use. The Blue Shell will join the cast of our items and will be automatically used when you pick it up. It will proceed to attack the person with the most stocks and the least percentage." announced Master Hand. "The first people to use them are Donkey Kong, Captain Falcon, Zelda, and Luigi who will now be warped to the Bridge of Eldin. Anyone who wants to see it has 5 minutes to get to the viewing area." it continued.

"Phew." I thought. While I was dashing to the kitchen to get a towel, I saw a golden circle of light surround Donkey Kong before fading.

"5 minutes." said the voice in a creepy tone. I grabbed a paper towel, wet it, and used it on my soiled jeans. It made me look like I peed in my pants, but at least it's better than feeling sticky for the rest of the day. I ran back to my room to get some popcorn and cola.

"3 minutes." I ran fast as I could, eventually getting into the portal that leads to the viewing room.

"Buzzzzzz.." went the machine. Everything turned white, and I landed into the VIP Suite that was only accessible to us Smashers. I saw Kirby, and Meta Knight sitting on the fancy leather couch, anxious for the fight to begin. Luckily, there was a space between the two colored marshmallows with feet. I sat down and pulled out a bag of popcorn from my backpack. Kirby noticed it, positioned his large mouth near my bag of popcorn and swallowed it in one gulp. He paused and I noticed tears came running down from his large aquamarine eyes.

"WAH!" the pink puffball cried. His body turned pale orange, while more tears spewed out of his eyes. When he opened his mouth, flames were expelled from his mouth. Kirby ran around looking for a source of water. He jumped into the hot tub, where Snake and Samus were making out. The moment he dived in, he got everyone and Snake's cardboard box wet. Luckily, the couch was across from the hot tub. Snake gave an angry glare at Kirby and chased him out of the luxury room, in his board shorts.

"What did Kirby eat?" asked Meta Knight. I didn't say anything, but take out another bag of popcorn from my backpack and hand it over to the blue masked marshmallow to read. The package was colored red, and flames came out of the person's mouth.

"D&J's Dreamland Penguin Sauce Popcorn. A crunchy firestorm for your body." Meta Knight read before turning it over to read some more.

"We cooked this popcorn with 12 different herbs and spices to create this super spicy explosion in your mouth. Cram this in your face and it's like a fiery hell storm, but eat it slowly, and it's really delicious." he continued.

"Do you want some?" I offered. Meta Knight opened the package and popped a few in his mouth.

"It's…" We were cut off by the announcer.

"3, 2, 1, GO!" the announcer yelled. Zelda, Captain Falcon, Donkey Kong and Luigi made their grand entrance before starting to throwing punches at each other.

"FALCON PUNCH!" Captain Falcon yelled, as he punched Zelda in the face. The knockback was extreme, and the princess flew out of the arena before coming back on a platform. Eventually, the ground began to shake as an orc rammed towards everyone. It dropped a lit oak barrel full of explosives, before exploding a few seconds later.

"**BOOM!"**

The middle part of the bridge crumbled as it was falling towards the middle of nowhere, pulling Luigi and Donkey Kong through it. Donkey Kong managed to hang on the edge of the cracked bridge, while Luigi attempted to double jump his way to safety. He failed and fell towards the Void, making his signature cry. At the same time Luigi reappeared, a glass trophy landed on the left side of the bridge. Zelda picked it up and it morphed into a young boy. He sported a blond bowl cut and a green tuxedo completed with a plum bowtie. The boy didn't say a word, but he took out some bottle rockets and lit them. Captain Falcon attempted to do a sneak attack on the girl, but it backfired after the bottle rockets aimed at Captain Falcon's face.

"Ooh!" he cried. A Tron-like portal appeared at the middle of the stage. Black particles spewed out of the portal, creating the shape of the missing bridge piece. It morphed back into a bridge piece as the portal dispersed. Then the main attraction of the match appeared on the center of the stage. It was a cobalt shell covered in steel spikes. Everyone quickly moved to try and get the shell, trying to knock back their opponents from the legendary shell, like kids when a piñata smashed. The lucky person to snatch the shell was Luigi. He picked it up, and the shell came to life.

While making a fire truck sound, the shell circled them before travelling to Donkey Kong. Since everyone was packed like a can of sardines, the results were drastic.

"**BOOM!"**

A massive blue explosion covered the long bridge, and the viewing areas. Since I was in the VIP section, which was covered and durable, Samus, Kirby, Meta Knight, Snake, and I were protected from the explosion. When the explosion faded away, the whole stadium was scorched. Giving an exception to everyone in the VIP section, we could never find a trace of life.

* * *

**1 week later:**

Ike and I went to Malonalds's for breakfast. We entered the restaurant and waited patiently for our turn.

"Welcome to Malonalds. Have you tried our new and improved pancakes?" asked the cashier. I glanced at the menu above the employee's head to see what's there.

"I would like to order a Bacon 'n Egg MalMuffin, two hash browns, a Sausage MalMuffin, two regular coffees, and a blueberry muffin." I said.

"That will be 15 Smash Dollars." he said. I opened my wallet and gave him a 20 dollar bill.

"Keep the change." I instructed.

"Why thank you." the cashier said. "I make less than miminum wage and I can't afford to eat sometimes." He gave us our meal and two copies of the Nintendo Times. We brought the giant meal to our tables. Ike picked up the newspaper and read it.

"Blue shell accident at the Super Smash Brawl tournament. 5000 dead." Ike read. He flipped the page.

"On August 15, 2012, a drastic disaster happened at a tournament. When Captain Falcon picked up the new Blue Shell, it caused a massive explosion, damaging the arena and claiming over 5000 lives. The notable deaths were Donkey Kong, Luigi Mario, Zelda Harkinian and Douglas Jay Falcon." Ike read.

"'This is just a programming accident with our new items. We are fixing this issue and it should be repaired by the next tournament.' Master Hand said. The Nintendo Times will be having a memorial service for everyone who perished in this nasty disaster."

* * *

**And so:**

Even through Master Hand had fixed the bug, we avoided it like the plague every time it appeared. Eventually, Master Hand removed it due to its unpopularity. The remaining shells were stashed in the Fire Temple, never to return to Super Smash Bros 4.

* * *

**Blue shells weren't made to act like this. Master Hand just rolled it in without testing it.**

**I just made Zelda's last name 'Harkinian' because it's too stupid making her last name 'Hyrule'.**


End file.
